In the First Ten-Year Plan, covering the years 2010 to 2019, we identified several existential challenges facing the nascent atashi.org, including an unresponsive sociocultural environment, significant anomalies in the brain chemistry of the foundation’s principals, and a lack of clearly stated goals. Despite the use of ordinarily maladaptive strategies in response, such as sudden, arbitrary lifestyle changes, atashi.org has been able to see out the last decade through dogged perseverance and substantial luck. Having somehow avoided falling victim to circumstances of our own creation in the 2010s, we are primed to now fall victim to fresh circumstances in the outside world in the 2020s, as this document describes in brief.
Shifting technology. From the outset, atashi.org has been committed to preserving artifacts of its own technological past in its exhibits. The First Ten-Year Plan did not foresee, however, that the viability of independent Web sites might be one of those artifacts moving into 2020, as audiences migrate to larger but more restricted platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Medium. Indeed, in just the past month, even the future usability of the .org top-level domain has been called into question. A special committee has been set up to consider new branding for atashi.org should conditions merit a change of platform or domain, composed of the executive director’s least favorite personnel. Otherwise, the foundation fully expects atashi.org to operate as-is through 2030, likely without any new content in the intervening decade.
Fragmenting politics. Although the foundation itself is a psychodigital entity, only bound by the laws of physics and metaphysics, its personnel are not, and their exposure to shocks of policy and basic human decency has risen to record highs in the past five years. Communications privacy, the self-determined use of feminine pronouns, and international freedom of expression are now under serious threat. In fact, the mere use of the phrase “Ten-Year Plan” to describe this document may come to be construed as sedition by 2030, forcing the use of a new and almost certainly less snappy name for future editions.
In response, we will be adopting a two-tiered classification of existing foundation personnel. Non-essential personnel will be terminated as soon as possible, especially in our Budapest, Sevastopol, and London sites, and all informal ties cut, so as to reduce the number of people the foundation cares about and therefore feels obligated to worry over. The remaining essential personnel will continue stripped-down foundation operations from a reduced number of sites in stable locales. Plans for several tiers of geopolitical compromise have been laid out, up to an immediate relocation of all staff to the Arctic Circle under the terms of the Svalbard Treaty.
Changing climate. Recent sea level and annual flood projections, including those of Kulp & Strauss 2019, are of great concern to the atashi foundation. However, with the failure of our United States lobbying program, Just Tax Carbon Emissions Already, our ability to mitigate adverse climate outcomes is negligible. We are instead pivoting to adaptation in the coming decade. Specifically, we aim to continue the trend since 2010 of our personal incomes rising faster than the deviation of global average temperature in kelvins from the pre-industrial norm. The Second Ten-Year Plan then assumes that, as in the past, everything else will fall into place with sufficient capital.
Note that the foundation’s financial sustainability is not expected to have any causal link to rising temperatures, thereby negating the need to hold any stake in cryptocurrency mining operations.
For full details, please see D-0804, the unabridged version of this Ten-Year Plan. (As we anticipate that no one will bother reading it, D-0804 currently does not exist. Should you need a copy of the unabridged report for business purposes, please contact a medical professional.)